Christian Families Can’t Save the World, but They Can Confess the Faith

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On my bookshelf is a picture book from 1980 that tells children how babies come into being. The text says, “Since a family is happier with children, your mother and father wanted a baby. They wanted you … to love and to care for.” Thirty years ago, it was normal to assume that getting married and having children made life better. 

In 1980, 33% of women had four or more children. Childlessness was rare, and the childfree movement unheard of. Now, approximately one third of millennial and Gen Z adults say they neither have nor want children. Roughly a quarter of respondents in one survey said that having children is irresponsible because of climate change. Others are unwilling to change their lifestyle or make so immense a commitment. Sterilization rates among young, childless women were already on the rise before the Dobbs ruling, and they have increased dramatically since then.

It is fair to say that many Americans are afraid of having kids and building families. Furthermore, these childless young people are right about one thing: Family life in modern America is hard. 

This summer, the surgeon general issued an advisory on the mental health of American parents. According to this report, “41% of parents say that most days they are so stressed they cannot function and 48% say that most days their stress is completely overwhelming.” Apparently, rather than making families happier, having a baby may, as one headline put it, “be hazardous to your health.” The document calls for governmental involvement to ease the burden on American families. 

The thing is, this problem is not one the government can fix. The current secular model of family is fundamentally broken, and no amount of free childcare will change that. At its core, this broken model is built on the belief that human beings must construct our own identities apart from anyone else. We must be free to define ourselves and pursue our dreams. Because commitment to other people limits our freedom to self-define and pursue happiness, we must be free to discard other people at will. That is why no-fault divorce, abortion, cutting annoying relatives out of our lives, dropping friends when their problems become overwhelming, and changing churches or denominations on a whim are all essential components of our world’s model. 

Sometimes this model leads to open separation. America has the highest rate of single-parent families in the world by a massive margin. Often, however, the estrangement is beneath the surface. Spouses compete over the division of resources and housework. Parents are pressured to build personal identities by forging impressive careers, no matter how difficult it becomes to also meet the needs of other family members. Children are over-scheduled and smothered with possessions in order to build their identities.

Resentment is inevitable, because people who think it is the job of spouse, child or friend to give them fulfillment will find that other human beings cannot make them happy. Resentment is a recipe for loneliness. We should not be surprised that the surgeon general has also issued a recent advisory on the “devastating impact of the epidemic of loneliness and isolation in the United States.” 

How, then, can we help a country filled with exhausted, stressed, lonely people, many of whom are so confused by the world’s recipe for a good life that they eschew the fundamental human desire to marry and have babies? They are missing out. Isolation is not part of God’s model for the human race. Psalm 68:6 tells us, “God sets the lonely in families” (NIV), and living together in loving self-sacrifice is a wonderful gift that we should want our neighbors to have. Click here to read more from The Lutheran Witness.

Be Informed
Marriage matters, children matter, and so families matter. The Rev. Christopher Nuttelman explains in a recent Issues, Etc. podcast.

Be Equipped
A recent report—linked here—found that Planned Parenthood was caught selling the bodies of “viable” babies for research.

Be Encouraged
“Babies are born into the world wrapped in surprising packaging like disabilities or poverty, but even so, God has a perfect plan for each one of them. Abortion is a tragic end to the countless blessings in store for those who would have surrounded these children.” --Brad Mattes, Life Issues Institute

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February 2025 Bulletin Blurbs