Sacrificial, Unconditional, Incarnational: A Biblical View of Marriage
Help support our efforts to contend for the freedom to proclaim the faith.
Click here to learn more or to donate.
I recently began a wedding sermon addressing the couple, “Your marriage is going to be tough! It’s going to be filled with conflict and suffering and sorrow and pain. And, if you do it right, you’ll eventually get to watch each other get old, have more pain, carry more grief and watch each other move toward death.”
Their eyes got as big as saucers, and their huge smiles started to waver. I paused for a bit with a very serious look on my face, because it is all, sadly, true. I then continued, “However, you’re about to enter one of the most beautiful experiences you can ever have on earth. You’ll have glimpses of heaven that most will never see. You’ll delight in the love of Jesus overflowing to you from your spouse. When you fall, you’ll have each other to speak words of forgiveness and renewal. Your joy will grow and overflow to everyone. And I can say this with certainty.”
Is there such a thing as a perfect marriage? Absolutely! The marriage between Jesus and His Bride, the church. At least it is perfect from the side of the husband. And it is also perfect in that He forgives the faults of His Bride to make her perfect too. That is what St. Paul is talking about in Ephesians 5:32: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
Jesus has claimed all Christians collectively as His beloved Bride. He has loved us with perfect love that fulfills the mandate of Ephesians 5:31. That verse is the seminal word on marriage in Scripture and describes the perfect marriage between Adam and Eve in Eden prior to the fall. In Genesis 2:24, the Lord said of this newly created union, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Jesus reinforced this as the perfect way for marriage in Matthew 19:5 (see also Mark 10:7). To emphasize its importance, all three persons of the Trinity proclaim this perfect pattern for marriage: The Father established it at creation. The Son reaffirmed it during His incarnation. The Holy Spirit gave it to St. Paul by inspiration. Such a teaching must be important and powerful. Indeed, it is.
The perfect love described in this key passage is sacrificial, unconditional and incarnational. To “leave his father and his mother” requires great sacrifice of selfish desire. To “hold fast to his wife” requires a husband to make an unconditional choice to never break the commitment of love. To “become one flesh” requires a union of the flesh that is uniquely incarnational and possible between one man and one woman.
We look to Jesus, the perfect husband, as the illustration of such love. Jesus showed perfect sacrificial love for us as He left His Father to offer Himself as the complete sacrifice for our sin on the cross. He passed through hell so we will never have to go there. Jesus shows perfect unconditional love as He chooses to forgive us again and again even though we regularly play the unfaithful bride. Jesus shows us perfect incarnational love in a way that surpasses the sexual union. He gives us His body and blood to touch, taste and ingest in His Supper on a regular basis. It unites us in an intimacy that bridges heaven and earth.
Click here to read the rest of Pastor Biermann’s explanation of marriage.
The Rev. Dr. Todd Biermann serves Faith Lutheran Church, Grand Blanc, Mich.
Be Informed
Hear more about a recent Pew Survey on the political divide on marriage and family with Peachy Keenan, author of Domestic Extremist.
Be Equipped
Did you know that an Obama-appointed judge recognized that religious institutions must be free from government interference in their personnel decisions?
Be Encouraged
“In Christ, a restless divine love was sent forth to find its object, a world in need of mercy (John 3:16). Likewise, that divine love, dwelling in hearts by faith, cannot but express itself in mercy toward those in need.” –Rev. Dr. Matthew C. Harrison, president, LCMS
One of my junior catechumens asked that last week. Politics, and political advertising, are wall-to-wall and around-the-clock here in Iowa these days. By “these days,” I mean most of the 10 years since I was called to Iowa. . . . The answer to that question is never short. Instead, I point our members to two basic Scriptures about the relationship of the Christian to government and politics
Last month, former President Donald Trump survived an assassination attempt. We thank God for his protection, and like many other voices this week, we abhor such political violence, boldly praying to God that virtue and civility might return to our public life together. As Christians, we are called into the middle of the chaos of the world in which we live with the power and wisdom of God’s preserving voice of the Law and His saving voice of the Gospel.
One of my junior catechumens asked that last week. Politics, and political advertising, are wall-to-wall and around-the-clock here in Iowa these days. By “these days,” I mean most of the 10 years since I was called to Iowa. . . . The answer to that question is never short. Instead, I point our members to two basic Scriptures about the relationship of the Christian to government and politics
How can an informed Lutheran talk about violations of conscience? How do we speak about our religious liberties? What if our neighbor asks us to explain freedom of religion? Here are some questions you might hear and ways to respond.
I remember well holding my youngest daughter in my arms the day after she was born. But I do not remember thinking, “This is not bone of my bones or flesh of my flesh.” My only thought was that the Lord had given me this girl and that I was her father.
“What is marriage?” It seems like a silly question. But its one our society is vigorously fighting about. For thousands of years, and for all of recorded history prior to the year 2000, societies around the world recognized that marriage was an exclusive relationship of faithful permanence between one man and one woman, who vowed to remain together until death parts them.
Former President Donald Trump has survived an assassination attempt. We thank God for his protection, and like many other voices this week, we abhor such political violence, boldly praying to God that virtue and civility might return to our public life together. As Christians, we are called into the middle of the chaos of the world in which we live with the power and wisdom of God’s preserving voice of the Law and His saving voice of the Gospel.
There are times when the church’s teaching on an issue sparks discussion and controversy because there is some debate over the precise meaning of critical words or ideas in the teaching. Other times, a doctrine of the church generates keen discussion and disagreement because the teaching is exceedingly plain and clear but difficult to practice. The church’s teaching about divorce falls into the latter category.
Perhaps someone you know or someone in your child’s school has come out recently as transgender. School districts, government leaders, doctors, counselors and ubiquitous popular media are teaching us all, including many in the church, false and unhealthy ideas about what it means to be human.
I recently began a wedding sermon addressing the couple, “Your marriage is going to be tough! It’s going to be filled with conflict and suffering and sorrow and pain. And, if you do it right, you’ll eventually get to watch each other get old, have more pain, carry more grief and watch each other move toward death.”
In 2021, the July 4 holiday fell on Sunday. You could hear the groans because that meant less time off, right? This year it falls on Thursday, so people surely will take the LONG weekend off. And isn’t that the point? Vacation, refreshment, leisure? Well, yes and no. The point of the holiday isn’t merely to take time off.
The Rev. Dr. Peter Scaer notes that even the angels weep at what they see happening among us today but reminds us that: “The right side of history talk has been exposed as nonsense, a way to demoralize those who know or should know better. Much better to be on the side of the angels, God’s angels, who love us as he does.”
What would happen if "we strive to think as the Bible teaches 'to think about others more highly than ourselves' and seek to serve others with that wisdom and strength"? The Rev. Dr. Gregory Seltz believes delightful consequences may occur!
Why is it that the "radicals sure know how to tear down, but, alas, they are not builders"? The Rev. Dr. Peter Scaer has a few ideas.
A disturbing narrative is metastasizing within our national consciousness: that Americans who embrace religious faith are potentially dangerous extremists, and that faith-inspired engagement in the public square poses a threat to our democracy.
There is a lot of fretting over Christian Nationalism, though as far as I can tell, the term comes with a lot of hype, and, as NPR would say, "misinformation." But when we speak about Christians in society today, we should not be naive and think we are living in a secular age of ideas, worrying about the danger that overzealous Christians are somehow trying to make other people act according to biblical laws. What we assert is the natural law. And here, it's important to speak of specific issues, so that the theories may be tested.
What does it matter if you call him a woman, call her a man? You can pretend it's a game, but you are doing it under compulsion, whether it's simply peer or social pressure, or whether it's a matter of advancing in your career, or even keeping your job or business. If you can be made to say 2 + 2 = 5, you are owned by someone else, and your mind is not your own, nor can it be the mind of Christ who is the Truth.
If a couple came to me and said, “Pastor, we’d like to get married, and we’d like to do everything we can today to make sure our marriage ends in divorce tomorrow,” then I would tell them that the first thing they should do is move in together. Cohabitation is that destructive to marriage and family life.
It almost seems ridiculous to point out that a politician did something hypocritical, but Kamala Harris inverted reality in an especially egregious way during her first (and hopefully last) vice presidential visit to an abortion facility last week. As part of her ongoing campaign against life, she claimed, “I have heard stories of — and have met with women who had miscarriages in — in toilets.” Like most of Harris’s speeches, she had said it all before. The vice president shared a video clip of herself repeating the same story on “The View” in January. Harris said she could not believe states still resist abortion “in this year of our Lord 2024,” before saying, “Women are having miscarriages in toilets.”
In his younger days, Bob Barker, former host of the television show, “The Price is Right,” hosted another show called “Truth or Consequences.” On this program contestants were asked questions and if they gave incorrect answers, there were consequences. There was a penalty for getting things “wrong.” Now the consequences weren’t life threatening. They involved comical stunts which may have been a bit embarrassing, but were endured as good-natured fun. At the close of every program, Barker signed off saying, “Good night, hoping all your consequences are happy ones.” It was an instant and enduring hit from the 1940s through Barker’s time with the show in the 1960s.
"What is the leading indicator of just about everything bad? The lack of a father, that is to say a Joseph, in the home." Learn why the Rev. Dr. Peter Scaer says the world needs more Josephs!
Thanks be to God, "There is only One who truly loves us 'no matter what' — only one family that will never fail us." Read more from Cheryl Magness.
Was the nuclear family a mistake? Cheryl Magness--in this two-part series--explains why it's the exact opposite.
Jesus is risen; He is risen indeed! But there’s more good news for those who believe in Him. He clearly says, “Because I live, you will live also” (John 14:19). Wow! What a statement. It calls believers to a confident hope that comes from knowing that even death itself has been conquered by the one who created and redeemed us.
For Christians around the world, it’s Good Friday today. I know that it sounds strange to say that the day when Jesus died on the cross is “good,” but it is. The real, lasting solution to the problems in every human heart, even the very problems of the whole world, is the sinless son of God, Jesus, exchanging His perfect life and His innocent death as a substitute for our sinful life. In His death and resurrection, eternal justice is served, enduring mercy is offered, and real, eternal life is possible again for us, for all. The God who created us is the only one who can also redeem us.
After reviewing what was said at their Baptisms, LCMS confirmands affirm their intention “to continue steadfast in this confession and Church and to suffer all, even death, rather than fall away from it” (LSB p. 273). Nevertheless, confirmation is often the last time we see some of these young people in church. When they become adults, some children return, but many do not.
After reviewing what was said at their Baptisms, LCMS confirmands affirm their intention “to continue steadfast in this confession and Church and to suffer all, even death, rather than fall away from it” (LSB p. 273). Nevertheless, confirmation is often the last time we see some of these young people in church. When they become adults, some children return, but many do not.
As a new mother, I once had a friend and her daughter over for a playdate. After we set our babies down on a bright red and blue blanket I had spread on the floor, she commented, “I love this quilt. It’s so stimulating!” The comment arrested me. I suddenly felt as though my child were one of the microscopic crustaceans from my college physiology lab to be plied with caffeine so we could observe its heart rate.
Teach them how to think, not what to think. That's what Senator Braun's commercial says we need. And in that, he's typical of much of the conservative movement. But scratch the surface of that phrase, and you end up in a world of hurt. Our kids need to be taught goodness, must be inculcated in the natural law, must be formed in an education that is value laden. Education always includes moral formation.
What is your responsibility to the government—the state? What do you owe the state? While you are contemplating that question, ask yourself this: What is your responsibility to God—the church? What do you owe the church?