Sacrificial, Unconditional, Incarnational: A Biblical View of Marriage

Word from the Center
Written By LCRL Staff

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I recently began a wedding sermon addressing the couple, “Your marriage is going to be tough! It’s going to be filled with conflict and suffering and sorrow and pain. And, if you do it right, you’ll eventually get to watch each other get old, have more pain, carry more grief and watch each other move toward death.”

Their eyes got as big as saucers, and their huge smiles started to waver. I paused for a bit with a very serious look on my face, because it is all, sadly, true. I then continued, “However, you’re about to enter one of the most beautiful experiences you can ever have on earth. You’ll have glimpses of heaven that most will never see. You’ll delight in the love of Jesus overflowing to you from your spouse. When you fall, you’ll have each other to speak words of forgiveness and renewal. Your joy will grow and overflow to everyone. And I can say this with certainty.”

Is there such a thing as a perfect marriage? Absolutely! The marriage between Jesus and His Bride, the church. At least it is perfect from the side of the husband. And it is also perfect in that He forgives the faults of His Bride to make her perfect too. That is what St. Paul is talking about in Ephesians 5:32: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

Jesus has claimed all Christians collectively as His beloved Bride. He has loved us with perfect love that fulfills the mandate of Ephesians 5:31. That verse is the seminal word on marriage in Scripture and describes the perfect marriage between Adam and Eve in Eden prior to the fall. In Genesis 2:24, the Lord said of this newly created union, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Jesus reinforced this as the perfect way for marriage in Matthew 19:5 (see also Mark 10:7). To emphasize its importance, all three persons of the Trinity proclaim this perfect pattern for marriage: The Father established it at creation. The Son reaffirmed it during His incarnation. The Holy Spirit gave it to St. Paul by inspiration. Such a teaching must be important and powerful. Indeed, it is.

The perfect love described in this key passage is sacrificial, unconditional and incarnational. To “leave his father and his mother” requires great sacrifice of selfish desire. To “hold fast to his wife” requires a husband to make an unconditional choice to never break the commitment of love. To “become one flesh” requires a union of the flesh that is uniquely incarnational and possible between one man and one woman.

We look to Jesus, the perfect husband, as the illustration of such love. Jesus showed perfect sacrificial love for us as He left His Father to offer Himself as the complete sacrifice for our sin on the cross. He passed through hell so we will never have to go there. Jesus shows perfect unconditional love as He chooses to forgive us again and again even though we regularly play the unfaithful bride. Jesus shows us perfect incarnational love in a way that surpasses the sexual union. He gives us His body and blood to touch, taste and ingest in His Supper on a regular basis. It unites us in an intimacy that bridges heaven and earth.

Click here to read the rest of Pastor Biermann’s explanation of marriage.

The Rev. Dr. Todd Biermann serves Faith Lutheran Church, Grand Blanc, Mich.

Be Informed
Hear more about a recent Pew Survey on the political divide on marriage and family with Peachy Keenan, author of Domestic Extremist.

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“In Christ, a restless divine love was sent forth to find its object, a world in need of mercy (John 3:16). Likewise, that divine love, dwelling in hearts by faith, cannot but express itself in mercy toward those in need.” –Rev. Dr. Matthew C. Harrison, president, LCMS

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